Sila

Sila: purification through conduct

The Gradual Training begins with Sila, or Virtue, which is purifying the mind by abandoning harmful habits, whether in thought, speech, or action. These behaviors, rooted in desire, aversion, and ignorance, create profound disturbances and obstruct progress on the Gradual Training.

Many people today misunderstand the role of Sila (Virtue) in the Gradual Training. There's a common misconception that developing Sila is merely preliminary work, and that "real" progress only begins with advanced practices like Jhana. This view couldn't be further from the truth.

In fact, cultivating Sila lies at the very heart of the Tathagata's teachings. It directly addresses the three root causes of suffering: greed, aversion, and delusion. When we overlook the importance of Sila, we miss a crucial foundation of the Gradual Training. This isn't just a minor oversight—it's a fundamental error that can hinder our entire practice.

Sila: Prerequisites

Before we can start the Mundane Eightfold Path, we must have already eliminated the most harmful types of behaviors related to the body (Bodily Actions). This includes killing, sexual misconduct, and stealing, as well as intoxication and wrong speech that results in bodily harm to others, actions that generate karma leading to rebirth in lower realms, such as the animal realm.

In the Cūḷakammavibhaṅga Sutta (MN 135), the Tathagata explains how different types of wrong actions lead to suffering:

• Killing leads to a short lifespan in future rebirths.
• Stealing leads to poverty and misfortune.
• Sexual misconduct leads to being reborn in unstable relationships.

And what is right action?

Abstaining from taking life, from stealing, & from sexual misconduct: This is called right action.

MN117

“And how is one made impure in three ways by bodily action? There is the case where a certain person takes life, is brutal, bloody-handed, devoted to killing & slaying, showing no mercy to living beings. He takes what is not given. He takes, in the manner of a thief, things in a village or a wilderness that belong to others and have not been given by them. He engages in sexual misconduct. He gets sexually involved with those who are protected by their mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their sisters, their relatives, or their Dhamma; those with husbands, those who entail punishments, or even those crowned with flowers by another man. This is how one is made impure in three ways by bodily action."

Sila: the mundane Eightfold Path

In the context of the Mundane Eightfold Path, the practice of Sila helps us abandon the most harmful actions - those that create bad Karma. Think of it as abandoning behaviors that reduce us to operating on pure instinct: obsessing over food, sex, power, or social status.

When these coarse afflictions dominate our minds, they create a thick fog of delusion that makes it impossible to see and release more subtle mental disturbances. It's like trying to notice a whisper while standing next to a blaring speaker - you first need to address the louder disruption.

Sila practice involves a fundamental shift in how we interact with others. We learn to let go of selfish desires and expectations. We work to abandon thoughts, speech, and actions that spring from greed, aversion, or hatred. By living virtuously and extending kindness to others, we create a protective shield - both for ourselves and those around us. This shield guards against the stress and dissatisfaction that inevitably arise when we engage with the world through wrong views, intentions, speech, actions, and livelihood.

Disciples, just as a cloth that is soiled and stained becomes impure in color when dyed with any dye, whether blue, yellow, red, or crimson, so too when the mind is defiled, a bad destination can be expected.

And just as a cloth that is clean and bright becomes pure in color when dyed with any dye, whether blue, yellow, red, or crimson, so too when the mind is undefiled, a good destination can be expected.

And what are the defilements of the mind?

Covetousness and unrighteous greed are defilements of the mind, ill will is a defilement of the mind, anger is a defilement of the mind, hostility is a defilement of the mind, denigration is a defilement of the mind, domineering is a defilement of the mind, envy is a defilement of the mind, avarice (an intense and selfish desire for wealth or material gain) is a defilement of the mind, deceit is a defilement of the mind, fraud is a defilement of the mind, stubbornness is a defilement of the mind, presumption is a defilement of the mind, conceit is a defilement of the mind, arrogance is a defilement of the mind, intoxication is a defilement of the mind, heedlessness (a disregard for potential consequences or the well-being of oneself or others) is a defilement of the mind.

MN7

Sila: the supramundane path

Beings are owners of their actions, heirs of their actions, born of their actions, related through their actions, and have their actions as their refuge. It is actions that distinguish beings as inferior and superior.

MN35

Within the Supramundane or Noble Eightfold Path, Sila takes on a transformative role. Impure, harmful actions no longer manifest in bodily actions or in speech. Effort shifts to purifying the mind, purifying thoughts, until one is completely free from greed and ill-will towards others.

It's also training the mind so that one’s actions, speech, and way of living do not cause entanglement in worldly distractions. It is elevating consciousness to a higher level and freeing ourselves from attachment to the world.

Since the aim of the Gradual Training is liberation from rebirth, the emphasis is not on strengthening relationships, enhancing social interactions, or pursuing meaningful work. Instead, it is about simplifying life, letting go of relationships, habits, and lifestyles, and reducing existence to its essentials to fully dedicate oneself to practice.

With Right View, one realizes that desires and expectations tied to relationships or livelihood can never provide lasting or reliable fulfillment. They are impermanent, unreliable, and inevitably lead to dissatisfaction. As a result, one gradually simplifies life, releasing relationships that hinder progress on the path and avoiding activities that disturb the mind or obstruct progress.

Sila: the letting go of desire and aversion

At its core, Sila is about practicing renunciation in how we interact with others, not by attempting to change them or the world around us, but by letting go of our own expectations and desires, and any aversion we may feel toward others’ behaviors.

Instead of wishing for people to act in ways that align with our views, we come to see that these expectations are mere fabrications of the mind, without any basis or foundation, formed from past causes and conditions.

Sila is also relinquishing the mistaken belief that others are the source of our anger, frustration, or irritation. It is easy to blame people or external circumstances for our stress and unhappiness, but in truth, these thoughts and emotions are produced by our own minds. They stem from deeply ingrained patterns of perceptions and intentions, rooted in clinging to the Five Aggregates.

Good Will requires not taking things personally

Letting go of desire and attachment to the world becomes impossible when one is caught in the grip of anger, whether directed at themselves, others, or their circumstances. The path to cultivating goodwill and compassion begins with understanding that all beings, including we ourselves, are bound by desires and clinging to the Five Aggregates and until we are liberated, our actions stem from desire, aversion, and ignorance.

It's important to understand that becoming angry or offended is a choice. We don't have to react unconsciously and let the mind be overtaken by anger, which only leads to more suffering for ourselves and others.

There is another way, one that doesn't involve being swept up by the situation. We can recognize that any negative reaction will only bring long-term harm to our own well-being and to those around us. Instead, we can react with compassion and understanding, recognizing that all of us are affected by accumulated stress and dissatisfaction.

Also, anger doesn’t arise from people, situations, or things themselves. It comes from what we create in our minds, what we imagine or tell ourselves about those people, situations, and things. A picture forms in the mind, and we react as if the story we’ve created is reality. But this is a shallow version of reality, shaped by countless unknowns we can never fully grasp.

Often, it's simply our own bottled-up stress expressing itself as aggression. With wisdom, we can see that anger is empty of true substance. It isn’t rooted in the external world, it’s a reflection of our own inner stress and dissatisfaction.

Through contemplation, we come to see that our perceptions, emotions, and thoughts are not always reliable. It’s human nature to misinterpret or jump to incorrect conclusions and fail to see reality as it truly is.

Recognizing that we are all influenced by craving, aversion, and not knowing helps us avoid taking things personally. We begin to understand that the actions of others, like our own, are shaped by their experiences and based on causes and conditions.

We can never fully know the struggles someone else has faced, so any judgments we form are inevitably clouded by a lack of understanding. Similarly, taking things personally reflects a misunderstanding, as no one is deliberately acting "against us." Even harmful actions often arise from someone’s inner pain, driven by greed, anger, or not knowing.

For instance, those who have endured abuse or hardship may develop destructive patterns or unhealthy ways of relating to the world. This is why compassion and goodwill are essential, not only for others, but also for ourselves.

When you see someone struggling or making unwise choices, remember that you, too, have likely made similar mistakes at some point, whether in this life or a previous one. Instead of judging, it is wiser to recognize that we are all shaped by the same forces of desire, aversion, and not knowing.

Judging is the cause of our own suffering

One of the key aims of practicing Sila is to abandon all judgments and accept people and circumstances as they are. It’s essential to recognize that when we judge others, we are actually seeing our own Five Aggregates in action.

In other words, our negative emotions, thoughts, or actions toward others are reflections of the preconceived notions stored in our memory, filtered through the lens of the Five Aggregates.

When we notice feelings like greed, anger, or aversion toward someone, what we are truly witnessing is our own mind projecting those tendencies through the Five Aggregates.

Judging has its root in conceit

One of the most difficult obstacles to overcome on the Gradual Training is conceit. Rooted in ignorance and attachment to the idea of a "self," conceit manifests as pride, arrogance, or self-centeredness, arising from our experiences in the animal realm.

Conceit drives us to constantly compare ourselves to others, whether by feeling superior, inferior, or even equal in a way that reinforces a sense of self. This habit of comparison causes the mind to judge others, leading to entitlement, dissatisfaction, and division. It ties our sense of worth to how we measure up to others, creating a cycle of judgment and separation. Whether our ego is inflated or diminished by these comparisons, conceit keeps us trapped in suffering, perpetuating desires and aversions. This, in turn, leads to wrong speech, wrong actions, and wrong livelihood.

The roots of conceit trace back to survival instincts from the animal realm, where social hierarchies were essential. For example:

• In wolf packs, the dominant alpha pair controls resources and leads the group.

• The term "pecking order" originates from chickens, where dominant birds enforce rank through pecking.

• Among chimpanzees, the alpha male secures food and mating rights through strength and alliances.

While hierarchical thinking was necessary for survival in the animal realm, it no longer serves a wholesome purpose in the human realm. Instead, conceit, whether expressed as pride or arrogance, becomes an obstacle that must be overcome to reach higher states of being.

To progress on the path, we must let go of judgments about what is good or bad in the world. Practicing Sila involves seeing everyone as equals and abandoning the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Whether through feelings of superiority or inferiority, conceit keeps us bound. By releasing the need to place ourselves above or below anyone else, we take a significant step toward a more peaceful and liberated state of mind.

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Blame

At a gross level, the self-sabotaging nature of the ego, rooted in conceit, drives people to blame others for their negative experiences. This prevents them from recognizing that the true cause lies within their own minds. For instance, you might find yourself arguing with others, insisting that you are right and they are wrong. This behavior stems from arrogance, where you become pushy and forceful and expect others to conform to your way of thinking.

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Wanting respect

The ego may also cause us to perceive others in a degrading or disrespectful manner, or it may create expectations about how we believe we should be treated. The mind might think, "I deserve respect; who are you to treat me this way?" This reflects a sense of superiority rooted in pride.

There are more subtle ways in which conceit may manifest:

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Unsolicited advice

Offering unsolicited advice is another way conceit manifests. This occurs when the ego takes control, pushing us to impose our views on others. Instead of acting impulsively, it is important to cultivate humility and restrain the mind. When we are free from craving or the desire for others to act a certain way, we can understand that their mistakes are their own to bear. Even when we have good intentions, unsolicited advice is often unwelcome and may lead others to blame us for interfering.

If other people's actions could harm or affect us, the wiser approach is to quietly remove ourselves without pointing out their errors or justifying our decision to step away. Attempting to correct them or prove we are right stems from arrogance and pride, not wisdom. Letting go of this need allows us to maintain peace and clarity in our own minds.

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Lifestyle

We might develop a certain lifestyle and expect others to follow our example, leading to frustration, anger, or agitation when they don’t. For instance, the mind may take pride in engaging in wholesome practices, such as speaking skillfully, meditating, or living a particular way, and then judge others for not doing the same.

This tendency to compare fosters arrogance and disrupts harmonious relationships, as the ego begins to expect others to act in alignment with our own values. True understanding arises when we recognize that everyone is living according to their own choices and conditions, and there is no need for comparison or judgment. By letting go of these expectations, we open the way to see people as they truly are.

A liberated person has released all aversion toward others, as well as cravings and expectations about how others should act or be. They are free from the need for others to change.

If someone dislikes us, we’ll understand that their feelings reflect their own mental state, not our intrinsic worth. It would be unwise to adjust our behavior simply to gain their approval, as that would stem from our own cravings and attachments. Instead, liberation lies in being free from the need for external validation.

At its core, the issue is that a strong ego fosters closed-mindedness, creating the illusion that we already know everything. This rigid mindset becomes a barrier, preventing more profound understanding of the Dhamma and obscuring the path to true insight.

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Establishing Right View

As we approach any situation, it is essential to have Right View, understanding that interactions with others often carry inherent challenges. Because clinging to judgments or expectations leads to distress and dissatisfaction, it's important to be mindful.

Staying aware of our thoughts, speech, and actions allows us to consistently reflect on whether they are skillful and wholesome. This is why the Gradual Training begins with Right Speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood; these address the most harmful tendencies while creating space to pause and evaluate our intentions. Mindfulness helps us intercept harmful impulses before they manifest into harmful words or deeds.

Practicing Sila requires careful attention to our inner and outer behavior. We must regularly ask ourselves, "Why am I thinking this?" "Why am I saying this?" or "Why am I doing this?" If the potential outcome could harm ourselves or others, we must either adjust our approach or abandon the action entirely.

When interacting with others, mindfulness helps us notice tension or tightness in the mind or body, subtle signs that we may be clinging to the interaction, whether through expectation or aversion. Such clinging often leads to unskillful interactions, which can leave behind lingering thoughts, distress, or dissatisfaction.

These interactions are valuable opportunities for contemplation, allowing us to correct our approach and ensure that future interactions are more skillful, free of lasting disturbances to the mind.

Through disciplined self-restraint, we ensure that no unskillful thoughts, words, or actions draw us into entanglement with the external world. Success in self-discipline brings a profound sense of confidence and peace, offering a depth of inner calm that is unlike anything previously experienced.

Precepts are not Rules

It's important to see virtue and the precepts not as rules, which is a form of clinging to views or attributes, but as a continual practice.

History provides countless examples of individuals who believed themselves to be "good people" yet justified wars and immense suffering in the name of “good.” This is why we should not view lying, stealing, killing, drinking, and sexual misconduct as fixed concepts or mere attributes. Instead, we must understand how their application needs to be skillfully adapted to the countless circumstances life may present.

Practicing virtue offers protection from becoming entangled in worldly matters. It allows us to renounce the world without resenting it. Additionally, virtue is one of the best tools for training the mind, as it requires constant mindfulness to recognize when our own or others’ actions are influenced by greed, aversion, or ignorance.

Virtue also serves as a valuable way to gauge our progress on the path. By reflecting on how much clinging, aversion, or ignorance arises in challenging situations or difficult interactions, we can measure our progress.

For example, how can we develop patience without encountering difficult or irritating individuals? It is through others pushing our “buttons” or testing our tolerance that we uncover the greed, aversion, and clinging to expectations still present within us.

And what, are the qualities that make one a contemplative, that make one liberated?

We will be endowed with shame (at the idea of wrong-doing) & compunction (for the consequences of wrong-doing): That’s how you should train yourselves.

MN39

Right Speech

And what is the right speech that is accompanied by defilements, partakes of merit, and ripens in attachment?

Abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh speech, abstaining from frivolous chatter: this is the right speech that is accompanied by defilements, partakes of merit, and ripens in attachment.

MN117

And what is the right speech that is noble, undefiled, supramundane, a factor of the path?

It is the abstaining, refraining, abstinence, avoidance by a noble one whose mind is noble, whose mind is undefiled, who is fully possessed of the noble path, and who is developing the noble path, from the four kinds of verbal misconduct.

MN117

And how is one made impure in four ways by verbal action? There is the case where a certain person tells lies. When he has been called to a town meeting, a group meeting, a gathering of his relatives, his guild, or of the royalty [i.e., a royal court proceeding], if he is asked as a witness, ‘Come & tell, good man, what you know’: If he doesn’t know, he says, ‘I know.’ If he does know, he says, ‘I don’t know.’ If he hasn’t seen, he says, ‘I have seen.’ If he has seen, he says, ’I haven’t seen.’ Thus he consciously tells lies for his own sake, for the sake of another, or for the sake of a certain reward.

He engages in divisive speech. What he has heard here he tells there to break those people apart from these people here. What he has heard there he tells here to break these people apart from those people there. Thus breaking apart those who are united and stirring up strife between those who have broken apart, he loves factionalism, delights in factionalism, enjoys factionalism, speaks things that create factionalism.

He engages in harsh speech. He speaks words that are insolent, cutting, mean to others, reviling others, provoking anger and destroying concentration. He engages in idle chatter. He speaks out of season, speaks what isn’t factual, what isn’t in accordance with the goal, the Dhamma, & the Vinaya, words that are not worth treasuring. This is how one is made impure in four ways by verbal action.

If his mind inclines to speaking, he thinks: I will not engage in talk that is low, vulgar, common, ignoble, unconnected to the goal, not leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as talk of kings, robbers, ministers, armies, dangers, wars, food, drink, clothing, beds, garlands, scents, relatives, vehicles, villages, towns, cities, countries, women, heroes, street talk, well talk, talk of the dead, miscellaneous talk, talk of being, talk of the sea, and various kinds of talk like this.

Thus he is fully aware there. And if his mind inclines to speaking, he thinks: I will engage in talk that is connected to the goal, leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as talk of few desires, contentment, seclusion, non-entanglement, arousing energy, virtue, concentration, wisdom, liberation, knowledge and vision of liberation.

Thus he is fully aware there. If his mind inclines to thoughts, he thinks: I will not think thoughts that are low, vulgar, common, ignoble, unconnected to the goal, not leading to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calm, direct knowledge, enlightenment, Nibbana, such as thoughts of sensuality, ill-will, and harm.

Thus he is fully aware there. And he thinks: I will think thoughts that are noble and lead outwards, leading to the complete destruction of suffering, such as thoughts of renunciation, non-ill-will, and non-harm.

MN122

Wrong speech

False Speech The primary issue with false speech is that when we deceive others, we are also more likely to deceive ourselves. How can we purify our minds if we’ve convinced ourselves that unwholesome actions are wholesome, that we haven’t caused harm, or that there’s no need to further develop our virtue?

False speech carries real consequences, leading to unwholesome results. For instance, habitual liars must constantly keep track of the details of their lies, what they told one person versus another, creating a persistent mental burden. This background tension prevents the mind from experiencing true peace and joy.

On a deeper level, false speech hinders our ability to penetrate the Dharma and see the mind clearly. Dishonesty, whether directed at ourselves or others, clouds our understanding of truth and impedes progress on the path.

Idle Speech Idle speech refers to purposeless chatter, often driven by a craving for attention and the desire to be heard. By practicing restraint and reducing idle talk, we minimize mental noise and disturbances, creating space for clarity and mindfulness.

Slander and Gossip Slander or gossip, on the other hand, involves damaging someone’s reputation out of ego or craving. This arises from the mistaken belief that making someone else look bad will somehow elevate our own position. In reality, harming others does nothing to improve our circumstances. Instead, it traps us in a cycle of unwholesome actions. Once engaged in gossip, we may feel compelled to justify it through false speech or additional stories, further deepening our entanglement.

Harsh Speech Harsh speech often emerges when others fail to meet our expectations, especially in close relationships where attachments are strongest, such as with family or partners. It’s particularly challenging to avoid harsh words with those we care about, as we tend to hold them to higher standards of behavior. Conversely, it’s easier to remain kind to those we aren’t attached to, as we don’t impose the same expectations on them.

To overcome harsh speech, we must address the craving and attachment at its root. This requires training the mind to speak gently and being mindful of our tone, tempo, and word choice. It’s a gradual process that demands patience, restraint, and consistent practice in everyday interactions. Through this effort, we can cultivate speech that reflects compassion and wisdom.

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Think

Delson

So, there's a good acronym that you can use to understand right speech, and that is THINK. THINK before you speak.

"T" is for timeliness; is it the right time to say what you want to say? Sometimes it's not the appropriate time. If it's not the proper time to talk, don't proceed. The proper time involves not interrupting people, ensuring your mind is ready to talk, and making sure the other person's mind is ready to talk.

If you're angry, frustrated, or agitated, it's not the proper time to talk. Similarly, if the other person is angry, frustrated, or agitated, it's not the proper time to talk. You can't fix their anger because what's causing their anger is their craving, desire, and attachment. They have to fix it themselves by letting go of their craving.

"H" is for honesty; do you know what you're going to say is true? If you don't know, you could say, "I'm not sure." I'm not sure if this is true or not, but this is what has been told to me.

"I" is for intention. What is the intention behind what you want to say? Is it a wholesome intention or an unwholesome intention? Is it to bring people up or to bring people down? What is the intention?

"N" is for necessity. Is it necessary for you to say what you have to say? Is it for their benefit, your benefit, or the benefit of both?

Ensuring that your speech is beneficial means being clear, concise, and precise in your communication, rather than focusing solely on the topic. The key is to avoid idle or frivolous speech and to focus on communicating effectively, ensuring your words have purpose and contribute to the conversation.

"K" is kindness. Can you infuse whatever you're going to say with kindness?

Someone said, "What if we have to reprimand someone? What if we have to scold our children? What if we have to give a talking to our employees?" They said you can shout at them, you can be stern with them, but can you do it with goodwill? Because the speech can be harsh, but it can also be beneficial. The speech could sound harsh, ironic, or sarcastic, but it's getting through to the person. The intention behind it is not to harm the person, but to motivate them to come out of their procrastination or bad behavior.

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Unskillful Mental Action

“And how is one made impure in three ways by mental action? There is the case where a certain person is covetous. He covets the belongings of others, thinking, ‘O, that what belongs to others would be mine!’ He bears ill will, corrupt in the resolves of his heart: ‘May these beings be killed or cut apart or crushed or destroyed, or may they not exist at all!’ He has wrong view, is warped in the way he sees things: ‘There is nothing given, nothing offered, nothing sacrificed. There is no fruit or result of good or bad actions. There is no this world, no next world, no mother, no father, no spontaneously reborn beings; no contemplatives or brahmans who, faring rightly & practicing rightly, proclaim this world & the next after having directly known & realized it for themselves.’ This is how one is made impure in three ways by mental action.

Right Livelihood

And what is right livelihood?

There is the case where a disciple of the noble ones, having abandoned dishonest livelihood, keeps his life going with right livelihood: This is called right livelihood.

“And what more is to be done? Our livelihood will be pure, clear & open, unbroken & restrained. We will not exalt ourselves nor disparage others on account of that pure livelihood: That’s how you should train yourselves. Now the thought may occur to you, We are endowed with shame & compunction. Our bodily conduct is pure. Our verbal conduct… our mental conduct is pure. Our livelihood is pure. That much is enough, that much means we’re done, so that the goal of our contemplative state has been reached. There’s nothing further to be done, and you may rest content with just that. So I tell you. I exhort you. Don’t let those of you who seek the contemplative state fall away from the goal of the contemplative state when there is more to be done."

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The Dhamma: ourselves as our own refuge

Ānanda, you should all live with yourselves as your island, yourselves as your refuge, with no other as your refuge; with the Dhamma as your island, the Dhamma as your refuge, with no other as your refuge.

DN16

The following article has been adapted from a talk by Allan Watts:

The path to liberation is one we must walk alone, not because we reject the world, but from the realization that relationships, in their essence, are futile.

Most connections are bound together by shared illusions, collective views, desires, and dreams. People do not seek truth; they seek comfort, familiarity, and reassurance that their way of living is right, their beliefs are correct, and their choices are justified.

Friendships, too, are built on desires. People long for entertainment, reassurance, and distractions from their own emptiness.

But for those of us who have seen through these illusions, we can no longer belong for the sake of belonging. We are no longer intoxicated by the desire for status, gossip, or the relentless pursuit of meaningless pleasures. Small talk feels empty; gossip feels like noise. The constant struggle for validation, success, and approval appears empty.

We no longer engage in relationships merely to fill time, silence, or emptiness. We are not afraid of solitude, for we understand that it is not loneliness but freedom. Instead, we seek tranquility in solitude, in quiet places. It is not that we wish to be alone. Rather, it is the natural consequence of understanding, of seeing through the layers of ingrained conditioning that bind most people to the illusions of existence and the need for companionship.

There is an unspoken rule in human relationships: to belong, you must conform. You must play your part; you must engage in the shared reality that the group has created. This is why those of us who realize this have fewer and fewer friends.

We don't judge people for their choices; there is no anger, no frustration, no superiority, only an understanding of why people cling to their beliefs, why they hold on to their routines, and why they seek distractions. We understand that most are simply afraid of letting go, for fear that all the views they have built their identity upon might crumble with nothing to replace them.

The more we understand this, the less we seek validation in others and the fewer connections we maintain, instead seeking refuge in ourselves.

A Basic Order in Life

Upāsikā Kee Nanayon

The most important thing in the daily life of a person who practices the Dhamma is to keep to the precepts (sila) and to care for them more than you care for your life, to maintain them in a way that the Noble Ones would praise. If you don’t have this sort of regard for the precepts, then the vices that run counter to them will become your everyday habits.

Practitioners who see that the breaking of a precept is something trifling and insignificant spoil their entire practice. If you can’t practice even these basic, beginning levels of the Dhamma, it will ruin all the qualities you’ll be trying to develop in the later stages of the practice. This is why you have to stick to the precepts as your basic foundation and to keep a lookout for anything in your behavior that falls short of them. Only then will you be able to benefit from your practice for the sake of eliminating your sufferings with greater and greater precision.

If you simply act in line with the cravings and desires swelling out of the sense of self that has no fear of the fires of defilement, you’ll have to suffer both in this life and in lives to come. If you don’t have a sense of conscience, a sense of shame at the thought of doing shoddy actions, and a fear of their consequences, your practice can only deteriorate day by day.

When people live without any order to their lives, without even the basic order that comes with the precepts, there’s no way they can attain purity. We have to examine ourselves: In what ways at present are we breaking our precepts in thought, word, or deed? If we simply let things pass and aren’t intent on examining ourselves to see the harm that comes from breaking the precepts and following the defilements, our practice can only sink lower and lower. Instead of extinguishing defilements and suffering, it will simply succumb to the power of craving. If this is the case, what damage is done? How much freedom does the mind lose? These are things we have to learn for ourselves. When we do, our practice of self-inspection in higher matters will get solid results and won’t go straying off into nonsense. For this reason, whenever craving or defilement shows itself in any way in any of our actions, we have to catch hold of it and examine what’s going on inside the mind.

Once we’re aware with real mindfulness and discernment, we’ll see the poison and power of the defilements. We’ll feel disgust for them and want to extinguish them as much as we can. But if we use our defilements to examine things, they’ll say everything is fine. The same as when we’re predisposed to liking a certain person: Even if he acts badly, we say he’s good. If he acts wrongly, we say he’s right. This is the way the defilements are. They say that everything we do is right and throw all the blame on other people, other things. So we can’t trust it, this sense of “self” in which craving and defilement lord it over the heart. We can’t trust it at all.

The violence of defilement, or this sense of self, is like that of a fire burning a forest or burning a house. It won’t listen to anyone, but simply keeps burning away, burning away inside of you. And that’s not all. It’s always out to set fire to other people, too.

The fires of suffering, the fires of defilement consume all those who don’t contemplate themselves or who don’t have any means of practice for putting them out. People of this sort can’t withstand the power of the defilements, can’t help but follow along wherever their cravings lead them. The moment they’re provoked, they follow in line with these things. This is why the sensations in the mind when provoked by defilement are very important, for they can lead you to do things with no sense of shame, no fear for the consequences of doing evil at all, which means that you’re sure to break your precepts.

Once you’ve followed the defilements, they feel really satisfied, like arsonists who feel gleeful when they’ve set other people’s places on fire. As soon as you’ve called somebody something vile or spread some malicious gossip, the defilements really like it. Your sense of self really likes it, because acting in line with defilement like that gives it real satisfaction. As a consequence, it keeps filling itself with the vices that run counter to the precepts, falling into hell in this very lifetime without realizing it. So take a good look at the violence the defilements do to you, to see whether you should keep socializing with them, to see whether you should regard them as your friends or your enemies.

As soon as any wrong views or ideas come out of the mind, we have to analyze them and turn around so as to catch sight of the facts within us. No matter what issues the defilements raise, focusing on the faults of others, we have to turn around and look within. When we realize our own faults and can come to our senses: That’s where our study of the Dhamma, our practice of the Dhamma, shows its real rewards.

Sila: purification of the mind

The essence of the Gradual Training is the purification of the mind, letting go of desire, aversion, and delusion. This purification comes to fruition by cultivating Right View, Right Intention, Right Action, Right Speech, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, and Right Mindfulness, ultimately gathering and concentrating the mind for the purpose of eliminating the taints.

To accomplish this, we must develop the mind into a stream of pure mental energy, an energy free from karmic disturbances—capable of penetrating and destroying defilements. The purpose of the Gradual Training is to refine the mind’s volitional formations, or mental energy, known as karma. Purifying the mind requires ceasing the generation of unwholesome karmic energy while actively cultivating wholesome energy, until eventually no new karma is created.

Volitional formations, which are unfulfilled desires and intentions, carry power; they are a form of mental energy. When scattered, confused, and weakened by the many concerns of ordinary life, this energy gives rise to unwholesome views, intentions, actions, speech, livelihood, and effort, leading to an inability to remain mindful or concentrate the mind. To counter this fragmentation, the mind must be purified into a single, focused stream of potent mental energy, directed entirely toward the destruction of the taints, the afflictions that bind us to Samsara.

The Tathagata says a person is truly pure when they are free of anger, delusion, and craving and do not harm others. They have abandoned falsehood and greed and have no attachment to the body as "self." They refrain from harming any being, from stealing or lying, from sexual misconduct, and from intoxicants.

Furthermore, they maintain purity in speech and livelihood: they speak truthfully without deceit, avoid divisive speech that causes conflict, refrain from harsh language, and do not engage in gossip or idle chatter.

Finally, the Tathagata teaches that a wise person sees things as they truly are, recognizing the impermanence, suffering, and non-self nature of reality, and does not cling to worldly things. This is the insight that leads to liberation: the wisdom of an enlightened being.

Goodwill: the purification of ill-will

Since intention is the force behind mental energy, which manifests as bodily, mental, and verbal formations, one of the best ways to purify the mind is by extinguishing ill-will (hatred) and its more subtle form, aversion. Ill-will and aversion hinder the mind's ability to settle and concentrate; it obstructs the path to liberation. Without the practice of Mettā, or goodwill, the mind remains clouded by disturbances.

Ill-will, being volitional and intentional, has consequences in the present and manifests as future disturbances when conditions are right. The more powerful our ill-will toward ourselves or others, the more it lingers as obstructive background energy, preventing a peaceful, clear, and collected mind.

While we cannot change past intentions, thoughts, or actions, we do have the power to change our present perceptions and intentions. Remember that negative thoughts towards others are a reflection of our own lack of understanding and wisdom. This prevents us from seeing things clearly.

Mettā, or goodwill, serves as the medicine, the antidote, to ill will. It clears mental blocks and supports a calm, collected mind. It brings happiness, allows us to see the truth, and leads us toward freedom from suffering. Mettā is more than just wishing others well; it is a core practice for purifying the mind.

Without goodwill, true understanding is impossible, as views, thoughts, and actions remain clouded by negative emotions such as greed and hatred. Developing goodwill helps us recognize that all beings face suffering, aging, sickness, and death.

Goodwill allows us to see from all perspectives, not just our own, and in doing so, we gain wisdom.

Mettā: Supramundane Goodwill

On the Supramundane path, we need to develop the type of goodwill that transcends personal relationships and preferences. Goodwill must extend to all beings in all realms of existence, free of judgement and without exception.

Our goodwill must not depend on the actions or worthiness of others; it must be unconditional. Goodwill protects us from our own ignorance and guards us against unskillful behavior, and through it, we gain wisdom and understanding. This is purification of the mind.

There Tathagata says there are numerous benefits from developing goodwill: you sleep easily; you wake easily; you have no evil dreams; you are dear to human beings and non-human beings; the devas protect you; fire, poison, and weapons do not harm you; you gain concentration quickly; your complexion becomes bright; you die unconfused, and if you do not attain higher realization, you are bound for the Brahmā worlds.

This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace:

Let them be able, upright, and straightforward, gentle in speech, humble, and not conceited. Contented and easily supported, with few duties and a simple way of life; Peaceful, calm, wise, and skillful, not proud and demanding in nature. Let them not do even the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.

May all beings be happy and safe, may their hearts be filled with joy. Whatever living beings there may be, whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, the great or the mighty, medium, short, or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near and far away, those born and yet to be born:

May all beings be at ease! Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill will wish harm upon another.

Just as a mother would protect with her life, her only child, so should we protect our goodwill for all living beings.

Radiating goodwill over the entire world, spreading upwards to the skies, and downwards to the depths, outward and unbounded, free from hatred and ill will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down, as long as one is awake, one should sustain this mindfulness:

This is said to be the sublime abiding. Not holding to fixed views, endowed with virtue and insight, having put aside attachment to sensory pleasures, one will surely never be reborn in the cycles of suffering.

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Goodwill: pre-requisites before practicing Mettā

Thus above, below, and all around, everywhere and in every respect, he pervades the entire world with a mind imbued with goodwill, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill will.

He pervades one direction with a mind imbued with compassion... with a mind imbued with empathetic joy... with a mind imbued with equanimity, likewise the second, likewise the third, likewise the fourth.

Thus above, below, and all around, everywhere and in every respect, he pervades the entire world with a mind imbued with equanimity, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill will. This is called the boundless liberation of mind.

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To effectively practice Mettā, we must first purify our minds of the gross afflictions. This means letting go of unwholesome behaviors that manifest in our thoughts, speech, and actions.

We first start by honestly looking at ourselves, asking: Have we cultivated the inner qualities necessary to genuinely offer goodwill to all beings?

• Do I still intentionally harm living beings?
• Do I still engage in stealing, even in subtle ways?
• Am I still involved in sexual misconduct or misusing my sensual desires?
• Do I still lie, use harsh or divisive words, or engage in frivolous chatter?

It's important to reflect on our daily real-life experiences to answer these questions.

To cleanse ourselves of unwholesome actions and words, whenever we become aware of them, we make a firm intention not to engage in them again.

By continually purifying our physical and verbal behavior, we also purify our minds. This makes us more receptive to the Tathagata’s teachings and helps us develop a higher form of sīla (moral conduct).

Beyond actions and speech, we also need to cleanse our minds of negative qualities that block the growth of goodwill. We must work to rid ourselves of tendencies like looking down on others, disparaging them, feeling envy, or being stingy.

Furthermore, we should also examine our politeness in our actions and our words: Do we treat others as equals? Is our behavior impolite or dismissive? Correcting these behaviors helps us become more gentle, adaptable, and open.

We ask ourselves if we harbor any ill will toward others. We must cleanse our minds of hostility and grudges. One way to do this is to reflect that all beings, including ourselves, are subject to aging, sickness, and death.

To have limitless goodwill, it's important not to become attached to groups. Identifying strongly with factions, nationalities, or any collective identity, whether it's family, work colleagues, race, gender, sexual identity, political groups, sports teams, or any other association, can entangle us in worldly delusion that stems from ignorance. These self-imposed boundaries limit our ability to cultivate limitless goodwill.

The actual practice of goodwill (Mettā) can only truly begin once our core virtues are firmly established. The instructions are clear: we extend goodwill to every single being, without exception. This includes all creatures, whether they are weak or strong, long or short, large or small. We offer this goodwill to beings we can see and also to those we cannot.

Just as a mother would protect her only child with her own life, we are to cultivate and guard our goodwill toward all beings, without exception or judgment.

From this foundation of understanding, we learn to radiate this same non-judging quality of goodwill in all directions, encompassing every living being. This systematic practice is the boundless purification of the mind.

We extend good will to beings in all directions, recognizing that all beings, including ourselves, are caught in the conditions of samsāra—the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. This includes all living beings, whether they are seen or unseen, near or far.

Mettā: goodwill throughout the day

It's important to develop goodwill throughout the day in all daily activities. Goodwill doesn't have to be the main focus; it can be a subtle quality in the way we perceive everything as we move through our tasks.

The practice of goodwill becomes especially valuable during interactions with others. As we listen, anchoring part of our awareness in goodwill enhances the depth and quality of our attention. When it’s our turn to speak, responding from this foundation of goodwill brings a calming influence to any situation.

The impact of this practice goes beyond human interactions. People, animals, and all beings naturally respond to the positive presence that arises when we sustain goodwill. This quiet radiance of goodwill subtly but meaningfully shapes the surrounding atmosphere.

Pure & Simple

Upāsikā Kee Nanayon

The first requirement when you come to practice is that you need to be the sort of person who loves the truth, and you need to possess endurance to do what’s true. Only then will your practice get anywhere. Otherwise, it all turns into failure and you go back to being a slave to your defilements and cravings just as before.

When you don’t contemplate yourself, how much suffering do you cause for yourself? And how much do you cause for others? These are things we should contemplate as much as we can. If we don’t, we keep trying to get, get, get. We don’t try to let go, to put things aside, to make any sacrifices at all. We just keep trying to get, for the more we get, the more we want.

If you’re greedy and stingy, then even if you have loads of money the Buddha says you’re poor: poor in noble treasures, poor in the treasures of the mind. Even if you have lots of external wealth, when you die it all goes to other people, it turns into common property, but you yourself are left poor in virtue, poor in the Dhamma.

The mind without its own home, a mind without the Dhamma as its home, has to live with the defilements. This defilement arises and the mind goes running after it. As soon as it disappears, that one arises over there, and the mind goes running after that. Because the mind has no dwelling of its own, it has to keep running wild all over the place.

Practicing to put an end to defilement and suffering is a high level of practice, so you first have to clear the ground and put it in good order. Don’t think that you can practice without any preparation…. If you live for your appetites, all you can think of is getting things for the sake of your appetites. If you don’t develop a sense of contentment or a sense of shame on the beginning level, it’ll be hard to practice the higher levels.

The important part of the practice lies in contemplating. If you don’t contemplate, discernment won’t arise. The Buddha taught us to contemplate and test things to the point where we can clearly know for ourselves. Only then will we have a proper refuge. He never taught us to take refuge in things we ourselves can’t see or do.

If you truly want to gain release from suffering, you have to practice truly, you have to make a true effort. You have to let go, starting with outward things and working inward. You have to free yourself from the delusion that falls for delicious allures of every kind.

The important point in letting go is to see the drawbacks of what you’re letting go. Only then can you let it go once and for all. If you don’t see its drawbacks, you’ll still be attached and will miss having it around.

If you’re going to let go of anything, you first have to see its drawbacks. If you just tell yourself to let go, let go, the mind won’t easily obey. You really have to see the drawbacks of the thing you’re holding onto, and then the mind will let go, of its own accord. It’s like grabbing hold of fire: When you feel the heat, you let go of your own accord and will never dare grasp it again.

It’s hard to see the drawbacks of sensual passion, but even harder to see the drawbacks of more subtle things, like your sense of self.

On the beginning level of the practice you have to learn how to control yourself in the area of your words and deeds, in other words, on the level of virtue, so that you can keep your words and deeds stable, calm and restrained. In this way, the mind won’t follow the power of the crude defilements. When violent urges arise, you stop them first with your powers of endurance. After you’ve been able to endure for a while, your insight will gain the strength it needs to develop a sense of right and wrong, and in this way you’ll see the worth of endurance, that it really is a good thing.

When you do good, let it be good in line with nature. Don’t latch onto the thought that you’re good. If you get attached to the idea that you’re good, it will give rise to lots of other attachments.

When a mind without pride or conceit gets a scolding, it shrinks back like a cow hit by a stick. Your sense of self will disappear right before your eyes. A good cow, even it sees only the shadow of the whip or the stick, stays still and composed, ready to do quickly what it’s told. A meditator who can reduce her pride and conceit is sure to make progress and will have nothing heavy to weigh down her mind. The mind will be still and empty, free from any attachment to me or mine. This is how the mind grows empty.

If you’re the sort of person who’s open and honest, you’ll find your window for disbanding suffering and defilement right where you’re honest with yourself, right where you come to your senses. You don’t have to go explaining high level Dhamma to anyone. All you need is the ordinary level of being honest with yourself about the sufferings and drawbacks of your actions, so that you can put a stop to them, so that you develop a sense of wariness, a sense of shame. That’s much better than talking about high-level Dhamma but then being heedless, complacent, and shameless.

When you look back to the past, you see that it’s all an affair of your own heedlessness. Even though you knew the Buddha’s teachings and were able to explain them correctly, still the heart and mind were in a state of heedlessness. Actually, when people know a lot of Dhamma and can show off a lot of their knowledge, they can be more heedless than people who know only a little. Those who’ve never read Dhamma books tend to be more heedful, for they’re more modest and know that they need to read their own minds all the time. Those who’ve read a lot of books or heard a lot of talks tend to get complacent. And in this way they become heedless and disrespectful of the Dhamma.

We have to figure out how to use our own mindfulness and discernment to look inwardly at all times, for no one else can know these things or see these things for us. We have to know for ourselves.

When things are weak and watery, they flow away. When they’re solid they don’t flow. When the mind is weak and devoid of strength, it’s always ready to flow away like water. But when the mind is endowed with mindfulness and discernment, when it’s solid and true in its effort, it can withstand the flow of the defilements.

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